Unlike many who have responded to your question so far CA, I was not born into it. I am one of those who heard the message, liked what I heard, and swallowed it hook, line and sinker. So I would like to put our side of the story, especially as I began by raising my two children “in it”, although I am eternally grateful that after I left, they both followed suit - I might inject here that their mother, my eldest sister, and the guy I studied with (who was born in) are all still loyal dubs to this day.
It was 1969 and I was 16 at the time. I didn't realise I was naïve and gullible, like most teenagers I thought I knew everything, at least I thought I knew a lot more than my father did. And no, I did not research the beliefs and history thoroughly. I asked questions, got satisfactory answers - I simply didn’t believe that people would lie to me so sincerely. And I don’t think even now, that they thought they were lying – victims of victims as they say.
I considered myself to be an atheist at the time, and when my eldest sister had begun to study, I just humoured her. But following a séance with my other sisters and a friend, my atheism was turned upside down – I had no explanation for what happened during that séance, but the explanation given by the witnesses seemed to make sense. So I started studying too.
I was drawn to the paradise earth (particularly as it was only a few years away), the international brotherhood of man, the lack of class distinctions, the principled stand against war, no money was asked or expected, the explanation for the existence of evil, the fact that evil would end, the fact that they seemed to have an answer for everything – and yes, the fact that they were good, generous, honest, friendly and loving people. And yes, most of those I knew then, I still regard as good, genuine people. I can honestly say that I have only met one really nasty piece of work within the witness community; the fact that he married my eldest sister was a real tragedy for her, but more so for her daughter (his step daughter).
Within a year of studying I had quit school, got baptised and was a regular pioneer with dreams of Bethel, Gilead and missionary work before me - all to the great disappointment of my father. But I was prepared to fight and defend “the truth” with all my heart – my only sorrow at the time was that I would not be old enough to be an elder before Armageddon. I didn't believe it was the truth, I knew it!
Ten years later and I was far from knowing anything - the shelf on which I had put so many unanswered and unanswerable questions had collapsed. I had begun to research some things and so much no longer made sense.
I walked away in 1978 with most of me still believing it was the truth, still believing that Armageddon was just around the corner and would soon end my life (it was a long and painful exit). I attended the odd meeting for the next year or so, the last being the district assembly in Twickenham, London, in 1980.
Looking back it is easy to say that I should have been more objective, more critical, more cynical and researched it. After all, if you are going to turn your life over to it, at least research it first. And I agree; I stand guilty as charged. I have no explanation for why I was so gullible, perhaps that is why I am the complete opposite now, a complete cynic. I can understand why those “born in” find it difficult to understand how people like me can be taken in by it, but unless you experience that feeling of knowing that this is the truth, you probably never will.
